Son Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he went off to college?

Bye, son.

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What kind of dog is this?

Well actu.." "Hes cute" *pets it* "Sir thats my.." *picks it up* "Your a good dog arent you " "PUT MY SON DOWN"

Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?

Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken " Mother: "We need the eggs."

What is that son of yours doing these days?

2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

What was the last thing Daedalus said to Icarus?

You've got a lot of potential, son.

What happened to your car?

SON: Transmission is shot. Reverse doesn't work. DAD: Well... SON: Don't- DAD: There's no going back now

What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose?

Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!

How did OJ respond when his son asked to borrow the car?

GtOnly if you go aks your mother.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?

Bison

What's wrongdad?

Dad: I told you, my head hurts. Son: This is why mom left.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

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Why, Prince Stephen?

Son: Because you call me "Prince S" King: Haha yeah that never gets old

What has four legs but isn't alive?

The son says,"Nice try dad, a chair!" "Not this time son, our dog is dead"

What does a snowman say to his son on his birthday?

Dad joke) Happy Brr-day son!

Why is that my son?

Son: Because...Walking dead Intro/outro plays loud

What's the capital of Ohio?

Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.

How is it when my son has homework,I have to be involved?

Dude,I already did my time.

What did the cheese maker say to his son after he dropped the cheese?

That's no whey to go through life, son.

What is the 25th letter of the alphabet?

The son answers, "Y." "Because I want to know!"

What is the extreme limit of laziness?

Son "Having an adopted son."

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad: I guess through its Beak

What did the dad buffalo say to his son on the first day of school?

Bison

Which do you think I should take?

Whichever you'll excel in, son.

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive?

THESE are the brakes!

Why is grandpa running daddy?

Shut up son, and give me another shell.

Why are you home from school so early?

Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question." Mother: "Oh really What was the question Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal "

How was your first day at school?

Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!

Who names a kid after an activity?

Storms off w/ his son, Kegger

What's the name of Michael J Fox's dry-cleaner?

Park and Sons. /Park en sons/ http://i157.photobucket.com/albums/t57/Thomzilla/Fazed/michaeljfoxshakennotstirred.gif

What did MC Hammer name his son?

Arman.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float?

That's my buoy!

What did the mom say when she found out her son was going to be a evil spy?

Abort mission!

What did the anti-vaccer say to her son?

I miss you.

Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband: Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Why do all black people go to heaven?

The Son is attracted to black

What do you call Figrin D'an's first born boy?

Son of a Bith!

What did the mom say to her son when he said he didn't want any of her flippin' pancakes?

Fine. They will just be burnt on one side.

What do you call the son of Kim jong-un?

Kim jong-deux

Why does my son deserve some Reddit Gold?

Because he's Autistic.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son.

What is Oedipus Rex's Mom's favorite Elton John song?

Don't Let The Son Go Down On Me

Where did our son go?

What son *Dad cries with joy

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails?

He cut all his fingers off!

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

What was the question?

Son: "Who's farted"

How does it feel son?

Astronaut: Feels pretty good to be 33 million miles away from Dave Matthews Band

What's faster than a black man with your TV?

His son with your DVD player! I mean no racism in this joke*

What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?

I'm Prada you son.

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

What is a world series?

I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub

What did the mountain climber name his son?

Cliff.

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Where do Arabians with cowboy hats gather?

Howdy Arabia

What's angry, fluffy and destructive and gathers inside stringed instruments?

Violint

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why does it smell so bad in Russia?

Everybody loves Putin!

Where are smells made?

In the olfactory.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why did Microsoft skip a number when naming their new operating system?

Because 7 ate 9.

What did I do in my 3-year-old?

I ate sand.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

What's a crackhead with no drugs?

Crack-a-lacking

Guess Jokes More Guess Jokes

Why did the surfer join ISIS?

Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up.

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do you want to join the Secret Service?

Me: "It's a secret." Job interviewer: "You got the job."

Why did the chicken go to KFC?

He wanted to see a chicken strip.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and werewolves have in common?

Offensive) They both go berserk once every month.

Why don't women need to go to college?

Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.