Well, I heard you pay money in exchange for work
He heard the reception was going to be terrible...
An earwig!
I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes... A FSHHH
Doesn't matter much, does it
Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)
A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P
Nothing, they might hear you
My ears are burning!
Sis boom baa Carnac
Aye, there's the wub
He just had to get out of there because he heard that Kentucky fried chicken!
A symphony
You can almost hear them.
He heard the food was a mess.
What I actually heard was "Do you want a fight "
Because in space, no one can hear you stream.
Because they're all dead
You can hear their brooms tick!
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
I said, "It has to be affordable" He said, "I'm sorry sir, I've never heard of a Ford Ibble."
Because some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate.
It's because they heard there was no jobs there.
Push the menu aside and softly whisper, "I want to hear about you."
ZOO OFFICIAL: Wait. Let's hear him out.
He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant!
He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise.
Look ma, no hands!
They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!
Vehicular man's laughter
They heard them in the town square saying, "Coup, coup!"
He pined everyday.
Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup.
A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.
He lost his hearing.
Because he heard the ref was blowin' fowels..
You can hear a cough drop.
Because they heard he's a web developer.
The manta pray, at least until the morpray eel hears about this.
Recalculating route.
They heard he was a fungi
It ended in a tie.
Never mind...it's tearable
It went back four seconds.
It was legend dairy.
They say the business is toast.
They had a reptile dysfunction.
There was nothing left but de Brie.
It was udder destruction.
They say he made a mint.
The food is great, but there’s just no atmosphere.
He just took it in stride
He had a very esteemed colleague.
It really took a dive...
Now we just have to call him Dav.
She was a roman catholic.
FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.
Neither did he.
They mostly wrap.
They haven't got a gig yet.
Never mind, I shouldn't spread it.
Oh, it's a really obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.
Got stacks of em! First one's on the house
Nah, I'm still working on it.
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
A field of corn.
The p is silent.
He heard that the chickens at KFC were pretty hot.
He was Bjorn again
It was wrong on so many levels.
Parsing HTML with regex.
He wanted to do it before it was cool.
He wanted to buy stock options.
You push it! I deserve salmonella for even posting this...
A flat minor.
Benot B. Mandelbrot
B)
A buble!
Bubbles bangles and beads...!
The waiter says "Some are suger, Summersalt"
Waiter: We can dream can't we
Fred and George Weasley.
Fred.
An orcastra
