When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser
You use an o-silly-scope!
Conditioner Gordon.
Because only Siths deal in absolutes.
To keep geese from speeding!
Infidel Castro
A Sven diagram!
He read that it was an invisible solid.
The cue tip.
Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.
Don't know?? Use DINO-MITE
Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)
Because it kept falling out.
To prevent further breakouts.
It's in the name...
You use a pair of caesars.
Because these colors don't run
Little Caesars
Rectoplasm...
TWERQY.
A Scamtron.
His alibi.
She forgot to use Spell Check.
It's gone.
Turkey
A log!
A cussomer.
Your parents would know!
So he'd use natural logs!
Their pacifists
At the BP station. (thanks grandma)
They use a Milwaukee-Talkie
He used an eyepatch
Stop using Chex as a weapon!
Because lions only understand.rars
A Hun knee comb.
He used cowculus!
Cell shading.
Their teacher told them not to use tables!
He used Apple Maps.
Honeycombs!
They use French resistors.
The Apostrosea.
The ATM
In the womb, he used to fight bald clowns. (Self made joke)
Camenbert
When he starts using condoms with other girls.
None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity.
Cirque d'Olay
They both can be used to carry vegetables....
Denim denim denim.
McDonald's knows how to use salt
Just wait and they'll tell you.
Coal-Ala
A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)
They're used to dealing with ripostes.
So that it can be used as an
Yarrrrrsync!
Mascarpone!
Camembert!
Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?
A real mess on your hands.
If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.
Give them to elephants to use as marbles!
A seasaw
Papal towels.
Arab spring
Your name
Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!
The phone goes green, green, green, I pink it up, and say yellow.
Someone else's!
Does anyone have a charger I could use
They're used to people 'goblin' them!
Aloe, mate. I'm sorry
Slow down and use some lubricant.
Is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare.
Because they have to use their Endor voices.
Using saxitoxin.
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!
Nanny: I don't know maam. I always return it after using.
Fo Drizzle!
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!
It uses a plant stand.
They use honeycombs.
Because they don't like conventional ovens.
"Use the fork, Luke."
You can afford four fjord forders' fords.
You use a boa restrictor
A.It's cloged up with paper plates.
Adobe Wan Kenobi
OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.
He stopped believing in stereotypes.
He wanted to grow mashed potatoes.
Duck tapes
Papal
A swipe and wipe.
Your car.
A casket
Starbucks
All-porpoise cleaner.
She uses all-porpoise cleaner!
A quack head!
Amfetamines
To get to the other side.
Well it depends on what you mean by change.
Toucan
A Bronte-saurus.
My phone number, call me please!
99 6dip74545cheese
One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!
South Koreans
Where did that list of dark jokes posted this morning go? Iv looked everywhere.
Applicant: I'm lazy I: that's it A: I'm lazy to list them all...
They're always picking on him.
Echosystems. From my 9 year-old.
