Use Jokes

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

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What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs!

What is the most used language in programming?

Profanity.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS!...Polly want a cracker.

Why did the philanthropist learn how to subtract?

Because he wanted to make a difference. My first original, time for open mic!

Moron Jokes More Moron Jokes

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What's my type?

Someone who is supportive. Someone who is warm. Someone I can just curl up and relax with. Wait I'm describing my bed again.

What type of car does a dinosaur drive?

A priustoric!

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you call a Mexican who's car got stolen?

Carlos.

Who steals all the soap in the bathroom?

The robber ducky

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They hold it in place and wait for the world to revolve around them.

How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually agents will screw in just about anything.

Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

Why did the duck go to the basketball game?

He heard the ref was blowing fouls!

What did the duck say after it split the atom?

Quark! Quark!

Global Warming Jokes More Global Warming Jokes

What if aliens are responsible for global warming?

And this is just their way of breaking the ice.

What's the difference between a computer program and global warming?

One's an algorithm, and the other's an Al Gore-ism!

Tortilla Chip Jokes More Tortilla Chip Jokes

What did Robin Williams say to the tortilla chip?

It's nacho fault.

How do you fit 100 babies into a cup?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips.