About 10 pounds.
Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees.
I don't know either, Johnny, just fly the drone.
A Presbyterian is a Baptist who can read
A tsunami doesn't care that you are faster than your buddy.
A consonant.
The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.
The foundation's been laid.
When we say waterboarding in Ireland it means surfing.
The car salesman can probably drive!
Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.
I don't know man, I just fly the drones.
Everyone pretends to be Irish on St. Paddy's Day.
Sometimes I get the punchline
You can't hear a pheromone.
You can spill your beer on a fiddle.
Some people actually believe santa exist.
I need to know before my court date on Monday.
H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.
A puppy stops whining after it grows up.
God doesn't think he's a Welder.
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
Popularity.
A virus does something.
A WWE wrestler will get up after faking an injury.
One holds photos The other holds five
You can only fit three fingers inside a bowling ball!
Cows are real.
What base you're counting in.
You can't gbrblblblbl(gargling noise) with a regular stool.
The lift attendants have jobs.
If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home.
You cry when you cut up an onion.
Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.
You can't mash Frankenstein.
About a couple thousand years.
A nun only serves one God.
The umbrella can be shut up.
I've never had a lima bean on my face.
What's the difference between getting your girlfriend pregnant and asking how her day went There is no difference, you always regret both!
Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical.
A dog has a better understanding of no.
The aged cheddar isn't as sharp as it once was.
Cooking times.
Dad jokes are punnier.
God doesn't think he's a police officer.
A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids
Skin color.
South Korean BBQ has more Seoul
My Grandma can unlock an iphone.
Pokeballs
Time
What you get served at KFC is original.
Anyone can mash potatoes
I dont have a Porsche. (Best told by whispering in someones ear.)
OJ's truth is stranger than King's fiction.
His dad answers, "Well, there's a vas deferens!"
You only need a nail to hang a painting.
I don't know, I just fly the fighter jet.
In a church you see pew, pew pew. In a mosque you hear pew pew pew.
One Space.
A plaque.
At the moment this joke.
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
One rarely bites and the other barely writes!
The Devil has standards.
You cannot milk a goat for 13 years
A girl raises her hand and says, "I don't know. I've never been bolted before."
Sometimes i get the joke.
Gangs don't have to pay for friends.
About two hours.
You only get 4 fingers in a Kitkat.
No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.
The gun has only one trigger
One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.
The smell of their fingers.
Nothing. We're on reddit
A shopping bag can carry a child.
If you leave the jar alone for 200 years it'll develop a culture.
One baits his hook the other hates his book.
99 dollars.
A schoolteacher says "Spit out that toffee" and a train says "Choo choo."
A white owl goes: Who Who A black owl goes: Who dat who dat
I never payed a hundred bucks to have a Lima Bean on my face.
A firm grip on the back of her head.
Dry ice lacks of water.
Ask them to say the word, "unionized".
You didn't pop out of a toaster.
My husband doesn't go to the circus
One is against the law and the other is a sick bird.
Healthcare.gov was broken and now it works.
I'm not scared when the bull charges
Oh shoot, I forgot...
If you repair both, the E-Wheelchair is the only thing running again
Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.
Ask him/her to pronounce unionized
One you brush and rake, the other you rush and brake.
An egg can stay in the cup longer
One leg is both the same.
Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....
Because they recognise Ty won
They're all girls on fire.
She was maid in France!
Eight.
Hard eh.
I regret nutting!!!
Because he tasted funny.
Depends..
A major difference.
Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store.
Notice me sin()!!!
Booze.
You invite two of them.
