ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...
Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!
A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.
A cub reporter.
Q. They think their picture is being taken.
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
No connection
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s
A chompion. (7-year old me thought he was very clever.)
Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.
They are just OFF-full
I think we should sea otter people.
Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it
Girl: Apollo neck jumpers
Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.
A thought.
Sat down!
F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.
Tennis shoes (Also: can anyone think of a more succinct buildup It seems kinda unwieldy to me)
By thinking outside the bawks.
Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."
Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.
They whip cream!
Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.
Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.
He thought they were a delivery service
Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C.
They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)
Mentally in-stable.
They thought 7 was pretty odd.
Son: She took it like a lamb Teacher: Really what did she say Son: Baa!
To e or not to e that is the question.
He found his pair a' dice!
Motorist: I thought I was on a merry-go-round.
Help, I think I'm in glove".
We do.
AWWW, HE THINKS I'M REALLY SMART.
Cook-a-doodle-do!
You think a burglar broke in and was like "Cute top!"
Slice cream!... I think I'll join the reposting group now...
Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.
An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus
Because people might think you have a stutter.
He thought he might get a kick out of it!
You have a broken finger!
Britons think 200 miles is a long distance, and American's think 200 years is a long time.
Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)
I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.
Staying up all night thinking if there really is a dog
Me: I dont know, I dont have 2020 vision
I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*
Programming. "What's your hobby " Programming. "What do you do when you're not programming " Think about programming.
I say "Yes I do". End of discussion.
Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.
Trying to hold on to a thought.
Ha, you really think rocks can talk
12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache 12: Yes.
He's a keeper
Because she thought everybody loved her.
You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints...
Dino what you're thinking.
They thought it was called "The Leo Movie".
Bromate Sorry, just studying my poly atomic ions and thought I was clever. I thought wrong
I think I'm gonna crash
Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.
Knightley.
No, I think I'd like some more-ay.
She thought she was a dromedary.
Well, you might think that it'd be Arrrrby's, but they are actually quite fond of Long John Silvers.
Aye, you'd think it was R, but tis the C
I think it's because usually the punchline is too long
Bruce Wayne.
OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!
Insomnia
A mushroom. Some people don't think that this is a joke. But it makes me rofl all over the place.
You might think it's R, but his first love has always been the C.
Conversation
Because she thought it was Diet Coke
God doesn't think he's a police officer.
Because I think it makes perfect scents.
Today sure was ruff" Read that today on my university's art wall and made me smile a bit, thought i'd share it
Some sort of karate expert I can't even open a Cheetos bag.
I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought "Wow this guy has it made"
Deleted
He thought it would help him with his hit detection.
In a moooo-tel.
Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!
A nail gun
It can't catch fire underwater... I think.
Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty
He thought it was his civic doodie!
Between us, I think we can make a lot of money!
A little bit tacky.
Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.
Like a glove.
They though it was Riel funny!
Because he couldn't find a Date!
Porque es FeO Little bilingual chemistry joke for you guys.
A monster makes bigger holes in the skirting board.
Psychopaths are fun at parties.
The Polar Bear
The polar bear..
Firetruck
Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.
Wookieeleaks
Start with a brief introduction.
Tequila Mockingbird. (Yes I know it's horrible :P)
Take the P out of him.
Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...
A communist party
1%
Infinity plus 1. I'm sorry.
