A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.
Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it...
They think, therefore they arrrr
Is there really a dog. Dog lover joke.
To get another degree. My sister thought it up and found it so funny she called to tell me.
He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)
He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)
Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...
Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti No (This is a joke I wrote a loooonnngg time ago, tell me what you think.)
They tried that but people kept on thinking it was the checkout line at Home Depot.
When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.
Because she was a-Kraid to. Now I think about it, this joke is a bit more "Riddle-y," than say an actual joke.
She thought it was diet coke.
They think, therefore they ARRRRRRRR!
Arrrrr?" Nope... you'd think so, but it'd be the "C."
You take the letter "f" out of the word "way" (there's no f in way) *joke works best when the person being asked the question has to think about it for some time and says the phrase themselves without realizing what they said
Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently
Recyc-bling (I'm pretty sure I thought of this myself but I used to smoke the Mary Jane a lot so......)
Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.
Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....
Thinking you are following someone.
I think you're condensating for something.
I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!
A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.
This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.
Just some light jokes with bit of humor. Nothing too dark.
They think long and hard before they touch weiner.
It was lame. (I think this is an original by me)
They couldn't be further from my mind.
I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation
CNN shows the missiles taking off and Al-Jazeera shows them landing. (Not mine, just heard it on the Jimmy Dore show) also "My favorite indie band is Palestinian. I think they're really going to blow up."
A Freudian slip is when someone says one thing when thinking of amother.
Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.
Because he thinks it doesn't matter if you make it or not
You'd think it would be floodlights, but in reality it was the Israelites!
Because his friend asked him when he thought they should cross.
I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.
He thought the bond was ironic.
They think outside the box.
Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in English. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.
It's a never ending story.
That you to fart.
Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)
This was incredibly clever when I first thought of it but then I did some research...the closest they get to being Italian is that George Clooney was a "pioneer" for them: Reading that makes me never want to wear them again.
I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?
Respectacle
He thought it was Coke!
Redditation. I am so sorry... that was horrible.
You'd look pretty funny riding a cow...but you'd look much worst milking a bike
ARRGGHH" (R) Your response = (in a pirate voice of course) "You'd think it'd be the ARRGGHH but it actually be the SEA!!! (C)
ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...
If you thought because you can't drop it, guess again) Because it takes longer to pick up.
So we can think about a solution in silence
I don't know but i think i just got a raging clue
Women: It started after work 2 days ago at 7pm. Men: I think it started in the 90's.
Applicant: Sorry I'm late! Interviewer: You're hired!
Hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D... wait what were YOU THINKING!!!
Me: Uhh...Let me think... Why Friend: You boil the hell out of it! Me: Get out.
A hemogoblin. I came up with this during lecture after a dyslexic moment, thought someone may like it.
GUY WHOSE DESCRIPTION IS SO LONG HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY GET TO SAY ANYTHING:
I think it would be tight at first, but then it would loosen up after a while.
A cub reporter.
Q. They think their picture is being taken.
The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!
She thought children should be seen and not herded!
The 40-year-old woman thinks often of having children and the man thinks often about dating them.
No connection
Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!
Biologist 2: Oh it was quite ribbiting.
None. Who do you think broke the filament in the first place
Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there!s
A chompion. (7-year old me thought he was very clever.)
Just one, but doing it will make them think they're going to be an electrician in the future.
That it was the most violent book he'd ever read.
They are just OFF-full
I think we should sea otter people.
Because he thought it was a delivery service.
They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.
Whorechata. Probably my best original, lemme know what you think.
Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it
God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.
Girl: Apollo neck jumpers
Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself.
I thought friendship was magic
A thought.
Altright, altright, altright
Sat down!
Gun hangs head & turns around
F1 driver doesn't think he's a cab driver
I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.
Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!
Tennis shoes (Also: can anyone think of a more succinct buildup It seems kinda unwieldy to me)
By thinking outside the bawks.
I think you mean 'what scent is it ' *with a mouthful of candle wax* -What
Because he was a VI KING.
Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says "Safety Zone."
Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.
Picking up tiny stool "we've thought of that"
They whip cream!
He keeps a log
Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.
The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.
Possum: Oh yeah
T and Qs.
A blowtorch.
Someone else's!
2.What is the Loudest sound in the jungle 1.Paints its balls red and climbs up a apple tree. 2.Tarzan picking apples.
You're turning me on!
1
Not good. Aww what went wrong -*thinks back to accidentally popping a zit into her soup* She just wasn't my type.
Carbon-14 is the most common method, I believe.
They take things literally
Because they always take things littorally
It's "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
