To match the rest of the household appliances.
To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP
My supply was short.
Because he was barefooted!!!
Lawsuits.
A Bondana.
Cuz theres a clock on the microwave
Denim denim denim
Haaaaaannnnnneeeeeessssss
Angela Merkel.
An investigator. Ba dum tss.
Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.
Because D-shells are too big and B-shells are too small.
Linen
A bro-tato
He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.
Head.
First M'lady
A hippiepotamus
In case he got a hole in one.
A private investigator.
Because they all had a tare
In case he got a hole in one
Hor-crocs.
It didn't Fett.
They'll get chapped lips!
Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"
Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove
10 E's
She grew out of her b-shells.
A Freudian slip.
Because they are already "in the skies".
Because they peel.
Boom-shackle-lacquer!
Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?
So they know where to stop shaving.
Car Keys
A Kimono
Depends.
Because there horns don't work.
TOTEM POLE!!
Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.
Because old habits die hard.
Incontinent
Thunderwear!
Polyunsaturated
Nihon-jeans (Nihon-jin)
To pick is to make a selection... And choose are what Cubans wear on their feet.
Because Chernobyl fall-out.
Boo Jeans
A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...
Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: Because there is a clock on the stove.
Because B-shells were too small.
Thort thorts.
So she didn't whistle on the way down.
She was wearing mittens.
A plaid tie.
Q: what does Oedipus the king's mother wear under her dress? A: a Freudian slip
To hide his nuts!!
In case he got a hole-in-one!
Because she can't fit into D shells
Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)
Because red means stop D
In case they get a hole in one!
A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: )
He was dyslexic.
Pa-jammins
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)
They might trip on the string.
They wear mittens.
Medium.
They're wearing a SOMBERERO
None, they go commando.
Denim denim denim.
Chernobyl fallout.
Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
Drops it like it's hot.
Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one
Because a and b shells are too small.
Denim denim denim p
This was incredibly clever when I first thought of it but then I did some research...the closest they get to being Italian is that George Clooney was a "pioneer" for them: Reading that makes me never want to wear them again.
Law-suits
The codpiece he made out of his girlfriend's face.
Because there's a perfectly good clock on the stove
So they won't whistle on the way down.
It'd be a waste of time.
Incase he gets a hole in one
Nobody wanted to wear the sash that says "Idaho".
You are a duck. No one could identify you without describing every other duck on earth.
An investigator.
TOTEM POLE
The one with the biggest head.
Under-bear.
Thunderware.
Existentialist reporter on the red carpet
Sneakers
FLAC jackets
When he's got ants in his pants!
Just in case he gets a hole in one!
A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing
Laundry, because you have to sort the whites from the colors.
Slaves.
Cth-Hulu
PUNCH!
Second fella says "A kilt of course!" First fella "What's the tartin " "She's wearing white" says his pal
Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed
Because they can't dress themselves.
A tire.
All the horses drowned
Because it's covered with horsehide!
One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.
About 10 pounds.
