He writes scary stories.
It'll dim sum
They quack up
Who cares!
They lie still.
Verbatim.
Russia kept Stalin it
Because fetch is not going to happen.
Gilly suit
They don't.
It ends.
It's must-up..
Illuminati and Half-Life 3 conformed.
He gets Tenyear.
You get repossessed.
Urine-nation!
He died on the cross!
He got the sack.
He gets toad.
Moo." What did the cow saw when she fell into a ditch? "Moo." What did the cow say when she fell onto the electric fence? "Moo." What did the cow say when she got hit by a train? "Why does everything always happen to meeee?" Protip: My dad wrote this joke for me when I was six.
Let's just say that his backstreet went more than One Direction.
Tequila Mockingbird
Idk. (I decay)
The chemist may frown.
Depressions.
He experiences culture shock.
Another pops up.
You'll get repossessed!
THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!
You get Insta-Gram
Everyone got swine flu
Plosive diarrhea
What happened to the cat when it ate a ball of wool? It had mittens
The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.
They get a fangover.
A spooky dookie.
Is it too basic?
Divine intervention. edit: Oh.
He'll re-possess it
It...all...happened...soooooooo...fast
Paranoid!
He got cancelled.
It pulled a mussel.
Linkin Park.
It was sold to the highest Buddha.
They got new fur coats.
She became an anchor...
Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently
William Shatner
He's left there trying to "guess" what happened.
The sausages.
Bunnylingus!
He had tentackles.
A 'murical.
It was repossessed!
A song called "My Corona"
The cat shat on the mat.
There was a porkward silence
They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.
He gets the cold shoulder.
He was un-feta-ed of his cheese.
It rars
His shirts get all winkly.
He goes to the Evans
They think long and hard before they touch weiner.
The broom gets sweepy.
The Dark Knight Rises.
He got fired.
She choked.
A trip without the kids
You can't make your van gogh.
Your parents would know!
It got away!
It got toad away.
You get banned from the petting zoo.
It was taken into custardy.
The cow didn't make it.
All that was left was de brie.
It doesn't just happen the once.
Cooperstown is where Baseball wasn't invented and Woodstock is where the festival didn't happen.
You have a Dell, rolling in the deep.
Another one popes up.
They turn out the lights.
Ginger snaps.
It'll Dimsum.
Faint
500 soles were lost.
He keeps coming and coming and coming.
It went back 4 seconds.
They're still talking about what happened in 1982.
You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.
The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.
The letter M
It wooden go
He gets mourning wood.
They were MAROONED!
I accidentally this joke the other day. Do you think it has potential?
He went on furlong-er.
The bride and all her guests, apparently.
I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?
I'll post the answer tomorrow.
Some idiot forgot to pull it out in time.
A first aid kitty!
A frog -- it croaks every night.
Ughs and kisses!
Cauliflowers!
I said, "I had to wash my hands so I took it off and placed it on my lover--I mean your mother's kitchen counter."
Illumi-naughty
Ben Franklin discovered electricity with a kite.
You need to cul de sac.
A sense of humor.
One of them makes sense!
Because you can really party hearty!
I'm font of you.
