Are you 0K
Because he's a man of the nice watch
Because his mixtape was to die for...
This is the plot of Edward Sizzlerhands
He gives it a valenshine!
He took a can of orange juice from the freezer and made a pitcher.
E.T. phoned home.
A Lot.
He wanted to see time fly!
Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally, cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom
He just beetled off!
Russel.
Anything you want, He can't hear you!
The man looks at her and says "I just moved the potatoes."
Attire.
So men can remember them.
He wanted stable employment
50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Raise the urinals
He snooker in!
Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.
('He wanted cold hard cash!')
No woman wears the same attire every year.
Get married on his birthday.
He was in charge of refresh mints.
His sentences start with "A woman once told me.."
They only need 2 eggs n 1 sausage to keep a girl full for 9 months
Because it was pay-per view.* "paper view"
Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "
Tony
Matt
Make him wear shoes.
Any place without a drive-up window.
Antibiotics
That can can can-can!
He was Snowden.
A tangent
So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.
Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.
He couldn't see that well
On a piece rate.
Pants
Because he had my grains
Man replies "Pollen"
The man was a corpse being buried forever.
He exploded.
A Stark contrast
He got snowden.
A Han Solo performance.
Russell
He was shocked.
Atrophy!
Bob
Because he couldn't throw away the evidence
With a crow bar.
For palomino-money!
Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.
You never know when he's coming how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
So he could badly go where no man has gone before.
A man laughing his head off.
He Reddit.
Claude
Urine trouble, mate!
Because those men have got Stable jobs.
A legend
Can I grab some milk *Bah dum tsss*
He had a *lovely finish*.
A master baiter
To get to the second-hand shop.
Let's get on the ship, men!
Because they rappel men and women.
No problem, He sleeps at night.
He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.
A tree feller.
Let's jack it.
He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car He got exhausted.
He wanted to have drinks on the house.
A moostache (That was udderly terrible)
Who said talk is cheap
So his boss doesn't have to retrain him.
Because they're practicing to be men.
Lawrence of Dublin.
Because the thief was spending less than his wife.
A pastryarchy.
I can't even...
The thief was spending less then his wife.
Pete.
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!
A Dairy Heir.
1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.
He had to get a new goat!
Claude!
A. In the pages of a romance novel.
Because he got tired.
It's not there.
Just be *honest* with it man...
Sleep at night
The bond matures.*
Dustin.
Your dentist.
I stole an ostrich, it chases me around the house all day, i hate it
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.
I said, "Piggy"
To get his quarterback!!
Because he "pulled a few strings"!
Treason
Bernadette.
To prevent them from whistling.
So they can bring two canopies.
Rich man has a canopy over the bed, and a poor man has a can o' pee under the bed
X-post /r/puns Scotch.
Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.
Because it's out of the high rent district.
Well, the flag is a big plus.
