God save the kin.
God dogs
God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.
God supports everything.
Cheesus
Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.
One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."
Ollah!
Praise the Load
Well... If it's any constellation...
Jesus
When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.
THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!
No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico
Nahweh.
Praying. Now what do you call it when God talks to you? Schizophrenia, it's called schizophrenia.
It was all a myth-take!
The time God took to cook us
A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.
Because Jesus saves.
God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
Praystation
Not today.
God is the answer.
Because Satan has more politicians to help him.
You get a certificate for showing you can do it and hope to god you never have to do it again
He didn't want to upset Chuck Norris.
A Christler
I Apollogize".
Because God couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.
Get a new robe!
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Pretzalcoatl
Knee-mail
Because the Earth is not a sandwich!
A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.
I'm Thor
Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.
She was taking god's name in vein.
Because God bless America
God really liked it so he put rings on it.
God bless America.
A Blasfemur
His Ex-Wife.
Lemmy or God? Trick question, lemmy is god... R.I.P. Edit* win not won damnit...
Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY!!
God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it - To find out who is the loser.
Practice makes perfect.
R/EyeBleach.
Go Ahead Make My Day
God does not punish twice.
I WON this belt buckle, I OWN that truck, and I swear to God I was just helping that sheep over the fence.
They were both caused by a message from god.
It's holey! get it
Oh, that's the forklift" ME: OH MY GOD HOW HEAVY ARE YOUR FORKS
The sun exists.
Tell him your plans.
An atheist. He doesn't really believe in himself.
Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.
God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
Because we're not all sandwiches
Because they don't bother Him with incessant prayer.
Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry
He didn't want someone telling him what to do
Deus Ex Macarena
God doesn't think **he's** an electrician.
By abusing his names in other languages.
Because he liked it.
A Skywalker
So accountants could have someone to laugh at.
God doesn't think he's a police officer.
I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you "
Me: oh, um, science.
Eggnog-stic.
God doesn't think he's a Welder.
I've never seen or heard from either of them.
I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God.
He plays the cello. As it says in scripture: "Our God is a cellist God."
Gouda Hell.
If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate
I swear to god the next time I see this happen, I'll roll down my window and throw my beer at them.
Me: 4-year-old: Me: Nachos. 4-year-old: With cheese
Because God could not find three wise men and a virgin.
It's a match made in Heaven!
2) How 2 build ark 3) Can god just build ark 4) Are snakes necessary 5) Is god real or am I high
God doesn't think he's a pilot.
God's punishing you for waiting until the flight home to buy your wife a gift.
God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.
Go bless yourself.
This lawn ain't gonna mow itself.
God knows.
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.
Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!
God: A toddler.
Because I'm not a sandwich.
Imagine...*You* Being God, the Lord, Him... But imagine us.
Make a backup, I need to re-format this.
A nun only serves one God.
Because based god and acid god had a baby.
Because they have tears in their eyes
A guard dog!
Because they'll worship the ground you walk on.
Steven Hawking
An oncologist.
He was part of doctors without boarders.
Follow the litre.
Because he always plays with Pooh.
In the non-friction section.
Amaized.
Because every day is a sadder-day.
I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.
I don't know you tell me.
About 5000 miles.
