He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.
During any conversation he's looking at YOUR shoes.
Give them a test-tickle
The ones with food.
Because they always take things literally
Nothing. She's already been told.
Everything you say goes in one ear and out the udder!
He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.
Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.
Both are yelling at the same kid.
Do tell.
Nothing, because he is the one who knocks.
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Tell him the snowblower is coming.
One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)
She isn't standing in the kitchen
Just wait, they'll tell you.
It must have fallen through a crack.
He doesn't like to be left hanging.
You got the Wong guy.
It's gone.
Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
Like a joke that involves a pun on a word that has different meanings in different languages. Please tell us what languages they are in.
Because freedom rings
His chemistry teacher told him he was mostly made of cabron.
I'm bad under pressure!! It's the lamest car joke in the world.
His matey told him he needed an iPatch
Because it was too cheesy. I work at a hot dog stand and tell this from time to time.
Because they cant wait to get out and tell all their friends about scoring.
We need to give you a cavity search
Don't worry, they'll tell you
On account of the coffin.
Cacawatches
The dog is gone, the homework is done, and they're still trying to get out of the driveway.
It's feeling down.
You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!
A punkin. Edit: and apparently not me.
Because the stalks are all ears.
Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share
Because the pee is silent.
Because they're too cornea.
To get to the other side.
They will tell you.
Gopher gold.
Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)
It doesn't just happen the once.
Because he told everyone to march fourth.
Is it mine"?
I'll show myself out.
Their teacher told them not to use tables!
Nitrogen Monoxide
Yes but we cantaloupe.
They wear mittens.
A school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, a train says choo choo.
They're wearing a SOMBERERO
People tell you not to, but you're still going to put your tongue on it.
Namaste
Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it.
His mouth is moving.
The sky's the limit for you".
He'll tell you.
Wooden shoe like me to tell you. Props to my 8-year-old daughter for this one
Throw a bunch of pocket change in the middle of town. How do u tell who is the richest person in that village? Find the person who gathered the most change.
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Nothing, you've already told her.
You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose.
Because we told them to.
I herd.
Mine is: What is the white stuff in bird poop? (That is also bird poop.) edit: til you can't edit the topic to fix spelling errors...
Hop in
Just ask them to read this word: unionized.
Someone stops you in the middle of the road and asks you to tell him a good joke, What would be your reply?
If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.
I still love vista, baby
Don't worry, he'll tell you
So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.
Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called a teethbrush.
Just wait and they'll tell you.
Her teacher told her to do an essay. (ese)
Stand in the middle of the street. If someone yells, "hey, get out of the street" you're in the US. If they yell, "get out of the street, eh" you're in Canada
When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?
It's are all red and glossy.
When the big hand touches the little hand
Not enough minerals.
Leave my provolone!
No, seriously. How could they tell?
By the "M" on his pajamas.
Dont worry, they'll tell you.
I'm not allowed to tell you
The punchline is too long.
Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?
At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-
Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)
The drummer is drooling out of sides of his mouth.
Having to tell your friend his kids should get tested.
Anyone else got some fun jokes your kids have told you?
Because they're funny on many levels.
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
A watermeloin.. Don't worry, I remember where the door is.
They are out standing in the field
Two chalk outlines.
Exactly like red paint!
The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.
Bunnies squirm too much.
Paint it black.
WHAT IS ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE?
Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.
The truth is out there.
Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.
God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.
PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.
A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a senor
For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)
