Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?

A bit of a shock really!

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What's a Mexicans favorite game?

Cross country.

What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?

Hare in your milk!

What do you get... Q. What do you get if you cross a large dinosaur with a frog?

A. A diplo-croak-us.

What do you get when you cross a cartoon character and a Communist?

Mickey Mao.

What do you get when you cross a millipede with a parrot?

A Walkie Talkie

Why did Goku cross the road?

Find out next time on Dragonball Z!

What do you get if you cross a bike and a rose?

Bicycle petals!

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a watchdog?

A terrified postman.

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A camera that takes pictures of itself.

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?

A flat fish!

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What do you get when you cross a tiger and a chicken?

Just the tiger

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?

Teargas

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow?

I have no idea but I wouldn't try milking it.

What do you get when your cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?

Ell if I know!

What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken?

Enough drumsticks to feed an army!

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?

Very big worm holes in your garden!

What would you get if you crossed a monster with a Thanksgiving dessert?

Bumpkin pie!

What do you get if cross a mouse woth a packet of washing up powder?

Bubble and squeak!

Why did the Nevada skunk cross the state border?

To follow the smell of legal dank skunk buds.

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Why did the German cross the road?

To get to the Reich side

Why didn't the NSA agent cross the road?

He was snowed in.

Why didn't the Marshmallow Peep cross the road on Easter?

Because it was a little chicken.

Why did the Priest cross the road?

Because he crosses everything.

What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?

A rabbit that says "Ribbit."

What do you get when you cross a porcupine with a turtle?

A slowpoke!

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person?

An Easter basket case!

Why did the US citizen cross the road?

To cross the border into Canada.

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road?

Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!

What do you get if you genetically crossed a rabbit and an oyster?

A Nobel Prize

Why did the line dancer cross the dance floor?

A. To get to the other (Electric) Slide!

What do you get when yo cross sheep DNA with human DNA?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?

A dog that chases cars - and catches them!

What do you get if you cross Oddjob with Blofeld?

Oddfeld...

What do you get when you cross Johnny Depp with Nicolas Cage?

Johnny Cage

What did the Pope say when a cougar crossed his path?

Oh my gosh I almost Puma pants.

Why did the man with one hand cross the road?

To get to the second-hand shop.

Why did the Cook cross the road?

Because there were "Too Many Cooks".

Why did the chicken cross the pathway?

By doing so, he got to the other side. Romney 2012.

What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat?

Nothing as they cannot breed with each other

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

Why didn't the bicycle cross the road?

He was two-tired...

Why did the sushi cross the road?

Sushi could get to the other side.

Why did the Red Hot Chili Peppers cross the road?

Because they wanted to be taken to the other side.

What do you get if you cross a toilet with a pop singer?

Loo-Loo!

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe!

What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?

A hen that lays pooched eggs.

Why do people traveling east out of Sweden get a medal?

Because they're crossing the Finnish line.

What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?

A smooth operator!

What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set?

A boa constructor!

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a boomerang?

A nasty smell that you can't get rid of.

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons?

Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!

Why did the chicken cross the rode?

To get to the other side.

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund, a Schnauzer, a Shih Tzu, and a Poodle?

A Wienerschnitzel.

What do you get if you cross Dracula with a snail?

The world's slowest vampire.

What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf?

A monster with an all-over perm.

What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal?

A very upset child.

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?

Bugs Bunny!

Why did the strawberry cross the road?

There was a traffic jam.

Why did the monkey cross the road?

To loot the pharmacy on the other side

What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?

Sir Loin!

What do you get when you cross a bell with a bee?

A humdinger.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A sourpuss!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

What do you get if you cross a computer with a ballet dancer?

The Netcracker suite.

What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog?

A fangfurther.

What do you get if you cross a radio music presenter with Match of the Day?

DDDDDDDDDDDDDJ!

What do you get when you cross the New World Order and risque behavior?

The Illuminaughty

What do you get when you cross a perm with a rabbit?

Curly hare.

What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?

A bear faced lyre!

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect?

The Masked-quito!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?

A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!

What do you get when you cross Captain America and The Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat?

He had to get a new goat!

Why didn't the engineer cross his own bridge?

Because he didn't truss it.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a holiday resort?

The Baaahaaamaaas!

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?

Something that stinks and stings!

What's a European immigrant's favorite high school sport?

Cross country

What do you get when you combine a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing! You can't cross scalars and vectors.

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

Why did the manic depressive cross the freeway?

To get to the *other side*

What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

What do you get if you cross King Kong with a budgie?

A messy cage.

When is a bad time to cross a black cat?

When you are a mouse!

What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer?

Light ale!

Why did the chicken cross the road twice?

Because it was a double-crosser

What do you call a president crossing the road?

A presidestrian

What do you get when you cross bears with salmon?

Cannibals.

What do you get if you cross a cow a French fry and a sofa?

A cowch potato!

What do you get when you cross a pond and a stream?

Wet feet.

Why'd the British man cross the ocean?

Freedom.

What do you get if you cross a Rottweiller and a hyena?

I don't know but I'll join in if it laughs!

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.

What do you get if you cross a dentist and a soldier?

A Drill Sergeant

Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?

To get to the other slide

What do you get if you cross a lamp with a violin?

You get light music.

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?

Dirty looks from the mouse!

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Vector Jokes More Vector Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Rat and a Mountain Climber?

Nothing, you can't cross a vector by a scalar. EDIT: changed multiply to cross.

What do you get when a mountain climber crosses a mosquito?

You can't cross a scalar and a vector.

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?

Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

Why did Snape stand in the middle of the road?

So you'll never know which side he's on.

Direction Jokes More Direction Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

How fast can you travel in any direction in an airport?

Terminal velocity.

Rat Jokes More Rat Jokes

What's the difference between a psychologist and a magician?

A psychologist pulls habits out of rats!

What did the mouse say when his cheese was stolen?

Rats!

House Jokes More House Jokes

How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

What do you do if your bank account stops working?

Throw the guy out of the house.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?

Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck...

What's the difference between a pizza and a pizza joke?

You can't top a good pizza joke.

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

How many tries does it take to get to the front page?

A LOT.

What do you call a dog with a lot of friends?

Pawpular!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

What part of a football ground is never the same?

The changing rooms!

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny...