Want Jokes

Why would anyone ever want to fly Virgin Airlines?

The last thing you want to do is get on a plane that doesn't go all the way.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom?

Because it might Pikachu.

What does a woman want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

Why do you never see a church with free Wi-Fi?

Because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Why did the man throw his watch out the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

What quality does Elon Musk look for in a woman?

He just wants her to be down to Mars

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?

So he could break out.

When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that?

Now it would be for the prescriptions.

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?

Skelly-vision!

Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba?

He didn't want to play second fidel

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why do husbands die before their wives?

They want to.

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can't hear you!

What's the word that starts with an "N" that no one wants to call a black person?

Neighbor.

What do you call a man with potatoes in their ears?

Anything you want, He can't hear you!

Why did the Italian boy want to grow a mustache?

So he could look like his mama.

What kind of body do you want to have?

ME: *leans in close* I'd prefer human

Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?

OC It was an obvious faux paw. Credit: My wife's a dork.

Whats a joke so bad its funny?

I just want some really hillarious jokes, preferably long ones

Why did the man get a job as a horse handler?

He wanted stable employment

Why did the mexican push his wife off the cliff?

Because he wants tequila. Literally.

Why did the actor fire his Gorilla agent?

The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!

Why didn't the Avatar want to fight the Fire Nation?

Because they gave him Aang-xiety

Who wants to hear some Symphonies?

Crowd goes wild B:I SAID WHO WANTS TO HEAR SOME SYMPHONIES *crowd goes nuts B:I CANT HEAR YOU!

Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security?

Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?

('He wanted cold hard cash!')

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Where are you going to keep them?

Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath Stan: Blindfold them!

Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school.

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite song?

Don't you want some bunny to love

What do I want to do to your body?

I don't know. Identify it, I guess.

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings?

If only I hadn't taken so many drugs I'd know this.

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

What did the police officer want from the criminal store?

Just ice.

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law?

A Small Medium at Large

What did the bed say to the sleepy man?

I want you inside me

Why did the chicken walk on the telephone wire?

She wanted to lay it on the line!

What kind of cheese?

Me: "American..." Her: "Want it toasted " Me: "I'll just make it myself."

Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower?

Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion

Why did the bait-shop owner take an apprentice?

He wanted to be a master-baiter.

Why are we at Home Depot?

Me: I wanted to see what it's like to pick out bathroom tile with you. See if this is worth it.

Why did the chef invest in chicken and cow bones?

He wanted to buy stock options.

What is your first wish?

Joe: I want to be rich. Genie: Granted. What is your second wish Rich: I want lots of money.

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics?

All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What did the little girl's parents want for Christmas?

A better son.

What do guns and millennials have in common?

You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered.

What's the last thing you want to hear from a surgeon dissecting someone?

Oops

How much is a gram?

Me- "Depends on what you want" Teacher- "Out, just get out"

What does a midwestern farmer and a rapper have in common?

They both want to make it rain.

Why did the crayon want to be a phone?

Because it wanted to be a texta.

Why did the old man buy his wig at the thrift store?

Because he didn't want toupee.

Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?

Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

What do you call an 800 pound gorilla?

Anything he wants to be called.

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting?

I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit.

Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocaine?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did Dr Frankenstein have his telephone cut off?

Because he wanted to win the Nobel prize!

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Why was the blonde wearing condoms on her ears?

Because she didn't want to get hearing-AIDS.

Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

Why did Leonardo di Caprio want Steve Harvey to host the Oscars?

He'd get it.

Why did the bear run around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

What does Asian Matthew Mcconaughey want for dinner?

All rice, all rice, all rice

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch?

Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch.

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Her: Because she had heard that the mayor was going to lay a cornerstone and she wanted to see if he could really do it.

Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

Why did the chicken cross the road half way?

He wanted to lay it on the line!

Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?

Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!

Why did the mother cat pick up her kittens?

She didn't want to litter

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

Why are you wearing a tuxedo?

The man responds "If I'm going to be im-po-tant, I want to look im-po-tant!"

What do you call Protestants who want to save a dime?

Econoclasts.

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?

Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

Why did God make women last?

He didn't want someone telling him what to do

Why did Chris Benoit quit wrestling?

He wanted to hang with his family.

What does NASCAR stand for?

Non-athletic-sport-centered-around-rednecks (I heard this forever ago and wanted to share. Sorry if it happens to be a repost.)

What did the worm want to do when he grew up?

He wanted to join the Apple Core (Corps).

Where do you want to be buried?

Me: You mean after I die, right

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don't want to have to retrain them.

What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life?

Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window

What did Adam do when he wanted some sugar?

He raised Cain.

What'd she want?

Me: nothing. Mgr: Where're all the donuts

What do you want for your birthday?

Me: You could get me a "world's best dad" mug. 4: You told me not to lie.

Who doesn't want to be a millionaire?

Well, certainly not a billionaire.

What's the last thing you want to hear right after you get done blowing Willie Nelson?

I ain't Willie Nelson.

What did the Morman say when asked what kind of wives he wanted?

Brigham Young

What's common between Marriage &amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?

He wanted sweet and sour pork!

Why do teenagers want to work for Intel?

Core i3, i5, i7... ican't even! Edited from: >They can't even

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