Elephant Jokes

What do you give an elephant with diarrhea?

Plenty o' room.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why Aren't Elephants Allowed On The Beach?

Because they always blow their trunks off!

How do you hire an elephant?

Stand it on four bricks!

What do you call an elephant in a phone box?

Stuck.

How does an elephant get down from a tree?

He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn!

Who lost a herd of elephants?

Big bo peep!

Why do elephants hide behind trees?

To trip ants.

Why does an elephant wear sneakers?

So that he can sneak up on mice!

What do you get if you cross a Rhinoceros, an elephant and a helicopter?

HellIfIknow

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse?

Try picking them up!

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What do you call a group of elephants?

A pack o'derms

What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court?

Annette!

How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory.

What grey has a wand huge wings and gives money to elephants?

The tusk fairy!

Why is an elephant braver than a hen?

Because the elephant isn't chicken!

Why did the elephant paints it's toes red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree.

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?

Dumbo!

How do elephants talk to each other?

By 'elephone!

Why do elephants have trunks?

Because they've no pockets to put things in!

Why do elephants have flat feet?

From jumpin' outta palm trees, duh

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why wouldn't you ever see a pachyderm on a civil warship?

Because an elephant never frigates. aaahhhthankyou

What did the banana say to the elephant?

Nick: I don't know. Tom: Nothing. Bananas can't talk.

Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?

THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!

Why can't an elephant ride a bicycle?

Because he doesn't have a thumb to ring the bell.

How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?

Take all the matches out first!

What do you do to an elephant with 3 balls?

Walk him and pitch to the rhino.

What do you call a rhinoceros crossed with an elephant?

El' if I know.

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino?

Helefino.

What have you been doing" asked Jane. "Chasing a herd of elephants on vines" "Really?

Said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground!"

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird?

A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger.

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?

Pack your trunk and clear out!

How do you get out of an elephant?

Q: How do you get out of an elephant A: Turn around and around until you get all pooped out. (5 yo humor never gets old)

What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear?

Anything you want as he can't hear you!

What is stronger an elephant or a snail?

A snail because it carries it's house an elephant just carries its trunk!

What do you call an elephant that flies?

A jumbo jet!

Why do elephants jump across rivers?

So they won't step on the fish.

Why doesnt Kermit like elephants?

They always want to play leap-frog with him.

How do elephants smell?

Really bad.

What did the elephant say to the famous detective?

It's ele-mentary my dear Sherlock!

Why did the elephants go on a diet?

Because they had too much junk in the trunk.

What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?

Look out for the mice!

What time would it be if five elephants were chasing you?

Five after one.

How can you tell if an elephant's been to your birthday party?

Look for his footprints in the ice cream.

What do you call a cross between a hippo, an elephant and a rhino?

Hell if I know

What do elephants say as a compliment?

You look elephantastic!

What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?

You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant!

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?

A pachydermatologist.

What is worse than raining cats and dogs?

Raining elephants!

What's similar between an elephant and a plum?

They're both grey except for the plum.

How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant?

Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!

What animal never forgets national tragedies?

The nine-elephant

Who do elephants get their Christmas presents from?

Elephanta Claus!

Why do elephants and stoners get along so well?

Uh.. I don't remember..

How can you tell elephants love to travel?

They are always packing their trunk!

Why do elephants do well in school?

Because they have a lot of grey matter!

What happened when the elephant sat on the car?

Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

How do you put elephant in the fridge?

Answer is open the door and just put the elephant in the fridge.

What's the difference between an elephant and a banana?

Have you ever tried to peel an elephant

Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle?

Because of all the cheetahs!

Why did the elephant turn around in the airport and go home?

He forgot to pack his trunk.

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant?

Very big worm holes in your garden!

Why don't elephants like penguins?

Because they can't get the wrapper off.

What do you give an elephant with big feet?

Plenty of room!

What's more difficult than getting a pregnant elephant in a VW bug?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a VW bug.

How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?

Step one: Open the door. Step two: Put the elephant in. Step three: Close the door.

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?

When your nose touches the ceiling!

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

Why do the elephants have short tails?

Because they can't remember long stories!

What kind of elephants live in Antartica?

Cold ones!

What has 3 tails 4 trunks and 6 feet?

An elephant with spare parts!el

What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagen.

Why don't elephants like martinis?

Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!

Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't?

Aardvarks don't have trunks!

What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?

A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

What did the elephant say to the horn-less rhino?

Rhino horn

Why were the elephants kicked out of the pool?

Because they kept dropping their trunks....

What do elephants sing at Christmas?

Noel-ephants Noel-ephants...

What do you call a mix between an elephant and a rhino?

Ell if I know

Why are elephants grey?

So you can tell them from flamingos!

What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil?

One rarely bites and the other barely writes!

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?

Trunkquilizers!

What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry?

A gooseberry is green!

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain?

To stop getting wet!

What do you call something that has nothing to do with elephants?

Irrelephant

Which ant is the biggest?

Elephant

How do you fit five elephants into a car?

Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment!

What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant?

A tusky!

What do elephants and plums have in common?

Everything, except that one is an elephant and one is a plum.

How can you tell a dog from an elephant?

The elephant remembers.

What is even bigger than an elephant?

A giant!

What happens when an elephant sits on a car?

It breaks the trunk.

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a fish?

Swimming trunks

What is the biggest ant in the world?

An elephant!

Why are elephants no good at Net surfing?

Because they're scared of the mouse.

What time is it when the elephant sits on the fence?

Time to get a new fence...

Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?

So he could hide in the cherry tree!

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a poodle?

A poodle split in half.

You might also enjoy:

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

What jedi is the best at opening PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi

What do you do when your Apple device gets warm?

Ask apple to open the backdoor.

String Jokes More String Jokes

Why do programmers like to concatenate time stamps?

It's the only way they can get a string of dates.

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What's something a kangaroo has that no other animal has?

Baby kangaroos.

What animals were last to leave the ark?

The elephants as they had to pack their trunks!

Flea Jokes More Flea Jokes

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

Should we walk home or take a dog

What do you call a rabbit with lots of fleas?

Bugs Bunny.

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How Do You Get an Elephant Out of the Fairway?

You take the F out of Fair and the F out of Way

What does it mean when a pedestrian has the right of way?

When you see a pedestrian, youve got to get them, right away

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do rabbits get to work?

By rabbit transit!

Why do cows have bells?

Because there horns don't work

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

What is a gentleman monkey?

A gentleman monkey is a monkey that won't monkey around with another monkey's monkey.

What do monkeys drink in space?

Orangu-Tang.

Trunk Jokes More Trunk Jokes

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?

In its trunk.

Why do elephants prefer cars instead of motorcycles?

Motorcycles don't have trunks